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shebledgreenink

Asyia Gover poetry & prose
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Hello world!

2 min read

Well hello again you lovely dA deviants! Been a long time, hasn't it? I'm laughing now when I read back my last journal entry - apparently I was shortly thereafter *not* here anymore.


When I used to be active here, I was literally a teenager. A little embarrassing now, but impressive for how much I loved the dA community and how much I wanted to be engaged. Well, obviously a lot has happened since then, and I've learned a lot about writing and about life. The funny thing is, I keep yearning for the way I used to write as a teenager.


It felt like the golden age of my work. Even though I'm now accomplishing dreams from that time, I remember how easily writing came to me and how fearless I was to share it online. I think that had a lot to do with my many supportive friends and themed writing groups here on dA. I have felt like something was missing from my writing life, so I'm coming back over here to find that secret sauce.


One thing I'd like to announce to you all is that my first book is coming out this year! Stay tuned for more updates and how to pre-order.


But I'm a big believer in giving more than you take, so I'm going to spend my time back on this website discovering more writers and digging in to the community. If you've been following me all this time and you're still active, I would love to chat and find out what your life is like! And if you're a new friend and you happen to see this post, thanks for coming along on this journey with me!

Hello world!
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I'm sorry! I really am here. I've been reading messages at a snail's pace! Still taking DLD suggestions! Still checking out lit! I know I haven't been super active but life just gets in the way.
Right now I've been working increased hours because we're crazy understaffed, and trying to get everything together so I can move in September.
That means I have to get all my important car repairs done, see the dentist and the optometrist while I know I still have insurance, find a home in Bellingham, arrange a transfer to their branch of the chain store I work at, sort out my money for school, pack all my stuff, work out what stuff I still need, and somehow manage to have a life outside of that.
Anyway, I'm here, and I'm still reading and watching everything that comes my way. I miss you guys!
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winter

1 min read
thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes! extra thanks to :lombregrise: both for giving me my subscription and for renewing it! excellent birthday present, my friend!

I'm still here, sort of. recently I've been getting into the local monthly poetry slams just as a fun way to challenge myself. been trying to crank out another play. argh.

thanks for being so patient with me :)
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Features first, so as not to ruin the mood.
Congratulations to the winners of DLD's summer contest!

First place:
Forgiveness EconomicsGenesis
But for the small purple stain on its border, the banknote was non-descript.
It had a value but men value things in different ways and by different means. It had a value, but its value is not it's story.
It landed on the church plate face up, coming to rest softly on the flat silver base amongst the loose change like it was tossed to the cloth of a gambling table, soundless but with a small sense of resignation. A man paying for luck, a man asking his God for a favor.
It came from the wallet of a small sad man, who feared the Good Lord daily. The banknote was the weekly price of his penance, the bill of sale for those half-remembered crimes of a misspent youth and other things unmentionable.
The small sad man's hands were fat and white and callouses sat on his thumb and forefingers, the scars of a bank teller, a money counter, a man who knew about value. The hair on his head was grey and his eyes were blue below his wrinkled forehead and tonight would be the last time he

Forgiveness Economics by brassteeth
"A purple stained money note connects the lives of a depressed church-goer, his priest, and a homeless man in Forgiveness Economics by brassteeth. It is a beautiful tale which illustrates the true web of connections we all share."

Second place:

we are all waiting to be found. by momo-madness
"A bench in the cemetery and a game of human understanding connect an old widower and a young girl in we are all waiting to be found. by momo-madness. I dare you not to tear up at the sincere plea to humanity everywhere in this story."

Runner-up:
Star Dust.When Pop died, he'd already put his last affairs in order.  The money was divided up equally among his six children, (most of) the jewellery was donated at his request and the house was to be sold to repay his final debts.  We each got something by the end of it.
"To Anjulie, I leave one of my most prized possessions."  Though Tante Doralee read the will, I heard it in Pop's crinkled voice, smelling the words as the smoke of his cigars.  "The bullet they pulled from my chest; I added the chain so I could carry it with me as a reminder of the horrors I've survived.  Take it with you to the furthest reaches you travel, as I know you're headed for the stars."
He didn't know I literally was, and at the time, neither did I.  Doralee dropped the piece into my open hand, adding under her breath, "If you ever lose this, no one will forgive you."
I wore it through my training in the Air Force, and I kept it around my neck when I test-f

Star Dust. by laurotica
"In Star Dust. Layla-89 transports us to a world where the inhabitants of the Moon wish only to get back to Earth. The life of one of the first colonizers and a young girl are connected through a bullet in this well imagined piece of sci-fi."

And thanks to everyone who participated!

Now for a downer from my life.

I don't know what it's like to want, more than anything, to walk away from something you love.
I have never been a creature who likes change. but I imagine the feeling has more to do with fear than hate. I imagine it starts slowly, and one day you wake up and look at the head on the pillow next to you and wonder if you'll never see another one. it begins with a thirst for more. you make plans to take a ten-week dance class together and you're excited to start but something squirms within you. you go down to the falls together and you've missed the spring's wild rush and she says "that's alright; we can always go next year." you want to buy a puppy and she says "yeah, we should totally get a puppy together!"
then the feeling gets more and more intrusive. it's there when she recommends you not quit your job. it's there when she goes on vacation and tells you she misses you every day. it's there when you have sex because you were both expecting to have sex tonight even though you're both tired. but you know her advice is best. you miss her too. the sex was awesome.
finally it's too strong to ignore. your friends ask when you're going to move in together. her father lets you buy his car for half its worth. your mother tells you you made a great choice.
and then you have to escape, like leaving your friends and family behind to go study at some fancy university. you pine for what you've lost but you keep telling yourself to sit tight until you reach the promised land. the pain you've caused yourself will vanish once you find the future you were looking toward. there will be more heads on more pillows, and they don't even have to be more beautiful because they will just be more.
more. that's all you were thirsting for.

is that all it is? I don't know if I have a lack of foresight or if I become content too easily or what. I had plenty, and I was satisfied. I didn't need anything else.
to compare, I'm only planning on leaving this town because everyone expects me to.
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return

1 min read
I:
survived a temporarily full-time job
bought a new computer
did not finish that play
am coming back to deviantart
have 1,000,000,000,000,000 messages/notifications/whatever to dig through
will be slowly addressing DLD suggestions, as usual
will be slowly addressing requests for critique, as usual
am introducing more Zen into my lifestyle
missed you all

you:
have been tremendously patient with me, especially my fellow staff at DLD and all who have attempted to make suggestions to me

let's do this!
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Featured

winter by shebledgreenink, journal

features and wanderlust by shebledgreenink, journal

return by shebledgreenink, journal

temporary disappearance, apologies by shebledgreenink, journal

the river is cold but it's warm at night by shebledgreenink, journal